Playing dress-up with the big kids
If you’re anything like me, you still don’t know what you’re going to be for Halloween this year. And if you’re really like me, you’ll probably end up cobbling together a costume Tuesday night, using duct tape, decorative glue and whatever you’ve salvaged from the recycle bin. Then you’ll spend most of the 31st looking like the lovechild of Courtney Love and the Swamp Thing and regretting that, yet again, you didn’t plan ahead.
In an effort to save you from that unfortunate eventuality, we’ve provided a little last-minute inspiration for those of you still searching for a costume idea.
We invited three of the biggest Halloween stores in the Seattle area - Champion Party Supply, Archie McPhee and Party @ Display & Costume - to create the coolest costume of the season, no holds barred. Each store was asked to create any costume, for any cost, so long as all the materials they used were readily available in their inventory to folks like us.
Consider the results - a demon, a pirate and a cheeky storybook girl - a kind of visual pep talk for next Wednesday. You can either re-create a costume exactly as you see it here (most of the “Alice in Wonderland” get-up comes in a bag for $69.99), or borrow bits and pieces from each, supplement with ’70s-era fashion atrocities from your closet and create your own monster.
Who says shiny platform heels, giant green gloves and a skull necklace don’t go together? Not the Swamp Thing’s lovechild, that’s for sure.
Don’t mess with me
Shawn Shelton of Party @ Display & Costume is dressed as an Asian warrior demon. The Asian warrior part is, uh, one in a billion, but the demon parts are more unique.
The six-piece facial prosthetic must be applied using a special glue, and then blended using liquid latex and an array of paints and powders. The whole shebang took more than four hours to apply and, according to Shelton, feels like “wearing a giant, warm Band-Aid on your face.”
If that’s enticement enough, come on into Display & Costume, and make-up guru Kit Palin, who conjured Shelton’s demonic good looks, will show you how to apply a giant, warm band-aid of your own to the faces of your loved ones. The biggest trick to convincing makeup? “Layer. Blend. Layer. Keep layering,” he says.
Shelton’s claw gloves, fangs and prosthetic ears tie the whole look together. The only things you can’t get in the store are his glowing amber contact lenses, which are prescription only.
The importance of a costume’s title notwithstanding (I once got away with wearing a white garbage bag by calling myself “Death Larvae”), most of the accessories in Shelton’s “Asian Warrior Demon” costume could be repurposed to create several other scary, green beasts. The Green Goblin. The Incredible Hulk. The Red Sox’s outfield wall. Green Death Larvae. You name it.
Shucks! It’s just little ol’ me
Gone are the days that Halloween meant dressing up in a scary costume to frighten all those wayward souls back whence they came. Nowadays, most of the popular adult-sized costumes - especially the ladies’ varieties - are more “come hither” than “boo.”
Heidi Blanchard, a Champion Party Supply alumna, would give old Lewis Carroll a run for his money in this pre-packaged Alice in Wonderland costume (includes tights). She’s a spittin’ image of the storybook blonde. If Alice were 21 years old. And on spring break in Cancun.
The petticoat and the inimitable blond wig don’t come with the costume, but clinch the look. In the photos, Blanchard sports two wigs, layered on top of each other, “to get the whole full-body thing going on,” she says.
Michelle Maxwell, the manager of Champion, says “cute, sexy costumes” are flying out the door this year. Ready-made Naughty Nurses, Schoolgirls and Cheerleaders all come in plus-sizes, too.
If the Alice in Wonderland look is appealing but Alice isn’t your favorite, check out Champion’s line of “storybook girls.” They’ve got the Mad Hatter, the Queen of Hearts, Cinderella and Little Red Riding Hood, too. But remember, these ladies’ outfits probably wouldn’t have passed muster with Old Mother Goose. Blanchard’s fingertips definitely reach beyond her hemline.
In keeping with contemporary children’s lit, Champion also carries a costume for Hermione, of “Harry Potter” fame. But don’t forget to cover Ron’s eyes: In this outfit, everyone’s favorite sorceress is all grown up.
Arrrrgh! Who you lookin’ at?
Archie McPhee’s Steve Quenell sports the classic Halloween look: the seedy, rakish pirate, complete with creepily patchy facial hair and an inflatable pet parrot.
Aside from getting to choose which pirate you want to be for the evening - Blackbeard? Sir Francis Drake? Jack Sparrow? - the best part about being a pirate is getting to insert the words “arrrgh,” “matey” and “plunder” into as many sentences as possible all evening long.
For instance, the phrases “Arrrren’t you going to bring me a drink, matey?” or, more casually, “I’m going to go plunder that appetizer table, dearrr,” are perfectly acceptable things to say to your spouse, so long as you’re wearing an eye patch. Otherwise, we don’t recommend it.
“The pirate is definitely a go-to costume,” Archie’s manager Shana Iverson says. “Year after year, you can be a pirate, and not only for Halloween. For birthday parties, or whatever. It’s a year-round thing.”
So, what she’s trying to say is, buying a pirate costume is an investment. Purchase a skull bracelet, rotten teeth, a pet monkey and the requisite hook, and you’ll be set for the rest of your life. Weddings, funerals, you name it.
Other accessories that give Quenell’s pirate costume - and accompanying treasure chest - a little extra oomph? A pirate popgun, pirate umbrella, bejeweled dagger, pouch full of doubloons and a pirate flag. Oh, and a skull and crossbones air freshener, which, presumably, won’t actually make your bathroom smell like bilge water.
If dressing as a plain-old pirate isn’t your thing, think about cross-pollinating with another recognizable character. Be a vampire-pirate. Or a music pirate. Or a Mar(arrr)tha Stewart-pirate. The possibilities are endless.
The most important thing to remember is, despite what anybody tells you, booty jokes never, ever get old. Arrrgh.